Handy tips when going to a fast food restaurant

Hi!
Decided to take this in English instead.... although right now this will most likely only be read by Söta, my brother and possibly my mom you never know.

IF anyone else happens to trod by I decided to give you a few handy tips when eating at a place like McDonalds, Burger King or somesuch. They are really simple little steps that won't make things more difficult for you, but I can promise you it will save the poor person behind the register a whole lot of time, effort and patience.

1. If you have bought a drink, be it small, medium or large, you only need ONE straw/drink. If you are planning to share it with your friend you might possibly need two. You will never need five or twenty, I promise. Even if the restaurant would suddenly be flooded it will still not be enough to build you a raft so just pick, and I repeat, ONE straw and walk away from the condiment table.

2. If you have no sense of taste, do not bother with the salt and pepper. If you still have working tastebuds you don't need 20 bags of salt. I know they're free and if you have a salt-deprived family at home, by all means grab a handful and take it with you. But please stop raiding the condiment table of all the salt and pepper you can find only to leave them on your tray/table/seat. If nothing else it's a fucking huge waste of resources because we're not allowed to put them back, so restrain yourselves people!

3. If you are visiting the restaurant with children, please use the time you stand in line to ask them what they want if you do not already know or decide for them. Trust me, they will not tell you once at the register as they will become instantly shy of the person behind the register and develop acute muteness, causing the people behind you to have to wait even longer while you try to coax your offspring into telling you what they want.

4. Be aware of the signs. If there are papers with text put up on doors or menuboards they might have information concerning you and your visit to the restaurant. If you do not wish to be bothered with such things, you have automatically voided your right to give the person behind the register attitude when it turns out you can't buy the icecream you've waited five minutes in line to buy. At least not when there were signs on the door AND on the menuboards you've been staring at for said five minutes.

5. The person behind the register is not responsible for changes in prices, campaigns, routines or general appearance of the restaurant (like the colour of the walls). Feel free to politely speak your mind of such things and ask if the person can relay these thoughts through the appropriate channel or use available feed-back boxes. But, and I can not stress this enough, prices, campaigns and somesuch are decided at headquarter level... NOT by the person behind the register.

6. Unless it is the owner of the restaurant behind the register, they are not allowed to give away free food, dip-sauce or desserts just because you would like something and do not want to pay for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is stealing and it is naughty so stop trying to make the staff do it for you.

7. Yes, it is called fast food. But if it has been slow until you showed up there will most likely not be food ready to serve. If that would be the standard practice all day every day the amount of food wasted would be huge and if you can not wait for four minutes for your food, you wouldn't have had time to eat it anyway.

8. Yes, it is called fast food. But if there are a dozen freshly made cheeseburgers ready to go, and you just can't be bothered to pick the pickle out yourself and the line stretches to the door behind you: You will have to fucking wait. Please excuse my language, but that is the way it is.

9. Because of health and safety regulations animals are not allowed in to the restaurant unless they are in the form of patties or nuggets. That includes the Chihuahua sized dogs, even if “you're just gonna order real quick”. I don't care if it is cute or if you do not want to tie it up outside. Send a friend in or go home because the fine the restaurant will have to pay for having animals inside is far greater than whatever they might have made selling you a value meal.

10. If you get the overwhelming feeling of disgust, anger and/or annoyance every time you enter the restaurant and you think everything in there is always wrong, from the behaviour of the staff to the taste of the food there is really no reason to lash out at the staff or other guests. Just don't go there anymore.

I hope these have been helpful guidelines for anyone reading this and if you have any questions feel free to ask, I'll be here all night escaping from my essays.